Brief update...I finished Elisabeth Elliot's Shadow of the Almigthy. I first read this book in college and was deeply impacted by it; I longed to be on fire for Christ in the same way Jim Elliot was. When I came to the Reformed faith and especially as I was attending Reformed Baptist churches, I tended to see Jim's faith as more "hothouse" and "unstable"; I was very worried about my emotions then and probably confused Christian spirituality with a Lucas-devised form of Christian stoicism. Whatever the cause, I distanced myself from his type of longings for Christ.
Now, I find myself coming a bit full cycle--I once again long to have a similar type of devotion for Christ while recognizing the "idealism" of Jim's devotion. Still, it is that idealism and hope and joy in Christ that led Jim to the jungles of Ecuador to share the Gospel with those who had never heard, with those who were likely to (and did) kill him. And that is what I long for--such a joy in God through Christ by the Spirit that I will not fear to risk myself completely for God's Will, knowing that he is no fool to give what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.